God, What The Heck?! 

100 Devotionals For When Life Sucks



If we brought God to the "Red Table Talk," this is what it would sound like.

Talk through your doubts instead of hiding them

Imagine if someone - without pretending like they never struggle - validated your feelings instead of dismissing them.

Build your faith when life is trying to knock it down

Imagine if you could trust God with all your heart instead of grabbing for control every time you don't understand Him. 

Find clarity in times when nothing seems clear

Imagine if you had a road map through the Bible to guide you instead of flipping it open and praying it applies.

Get answers to your most difficult questions

Imagine if you held nothing back from God, and He answered you lovingly, and truthfully through His word. 

BTW, nice to meet you

Losing my Daddy to dementia and struggling through grief in lockdown was one of the hardest experiences of my life. 

My normally faithful prayers to God were replaced with tears and questions that I wasn’t sure how to answer. As the founder of a faith-based, empowerment platform, did I really have the faith I preached about?

That’s when I wrote God, What The Heck?! 

God and I needed to have some real conversations. And as I committed not to "waste the pain," I wrote the book I needed to read for others who felt the same. 

If you’re going through real challenges in your faith, I can help you. If you're looking for answers from God, I can help you. And if you're fighting to find joy in your struggle, I've been there. Let’s do it together.

This book makes me feel like you are sitting in on my quiet times with God. I feel like it's a couples therapy session with God and you are the therapist. So grateful for you being obedient in writing this book. I needed it. 

- Marisha Legan-Johnson

God, What The Heck?! is for someone who...

  • isn't looking for religiosity
  • wants to talk about the "hard stuff" most churches won't touch
  • is looking for a reason to believe God
  • has enough hope to try again
  • just needs the HOW

Get my copy on Amazon!



God, What The Heck?!

100 Devotionals For When Life Sucks




God, What The Heck?!

100 Devotionals For When Life Sucks


 Your map through your struggle...

Let's be honest. Life sucks sometimes. God, What The Heck?! is your guide to get through it. 


10 Chapters. 10 Topics. 10 Devotionals per Topic.

  1. Compelled - A conversation on love
  2. God's Plan - A conversation on timing
  3. Training - A conversation on trials
  4. Safe - A conversation on protection
  5. Open Wounds - A conversation on grief
  6. No Shame - A conversation on overcoming shame
  7. Coping With Jesus - A conversation on coping
  8. Restored - A conversation on restoration
  9. Free - A conversation on freedom
  10. Hopeful - A conversation on hope

Maaannnn, do you ever just read something and then realize you didn’t know how much you needed to read it? That’s how I felt while reading God, What The Heck?! This daily devotional spoke to the parts of my heart that tend to go untouched. It helped open my perspective and deepen my understanding of how God operates; in love.

- Courtney Sierra Smith 

Say no more, I'm in!

The heart behind writing God, What The Heck?!

(Click each video to watch)


Be encouraged, get answers, and build an unshakable relationship with God, regardless of what you're going through in life!

I need this!

Book Excerpt

From chapter two, "God's Plan"

I don’t remember much after that. All of the sudden I looked up, it was 11:47 p.m., and I was still sitting at my desk with my head in my hands trying to make sense of what just happened. 
This could not be real life. But it was. 
Why do people we love die? 
Why do kids get cancer? Or anyone for that matter? 
Why are there incurable diseases?
Why are innocent people murdered for their skin color? 
Why do we have natural desires that God says no to?
Why are some people born into poverty and others into wealth?
If God is good, powerful, and loving, how is all of this His plan?  
This chapter could easily be the one that inspired the title of this book. Knowing God is all powerful while at the same time looking at the state of the world like, “God, what the heck?!”
It’s easy to trust God’s plan when what’s happening is what we think should happen. “Yeah God, great plan!”
But when God’s plan hurts, and what’s going on is completely the opposite of anything we’d ever choose, we have questions... 
Does God really love me? 
Is the Bible really true? 
Is God actually good? 
Does He really have power?
What’s the point of all this anyway? 
I know this year I’ve asked myself all of these questions and then some. And what I’ve learned is, that’s okay.
It’s like any other relationship with someone you love. You can disagree, question, cry, and maybe even yell. But it’s not over until one person decides to leave and never come back. It’s still a relationship until one of you decides it isn’t worth fighting for anymore, and quits. 
That person won’t be God. He’ll never walk out because the fight is always worth it to Him. 
And although there are many hard things we go through, I think situations we don’t understand are the hardest not to quit on. At least, I know that’s the truth for me. 
So in this chapter we’re going to study out believing in God’s plan. The one thing I want you to walk away with is a decision to not quit on God, no matter what is going on. Stay right here and fight for your relationship with Him. 

Love for God, What The Heck?!


Fight for your connection to God

God, What The Heck?! is 100 devotionals to give you clarity, encouragement, faith, and hope, even in life's darkest moments. 

Buy Now